Little League - a season to remember
by humble
Summary: Principal Wartz has allowed little leaugue co-ed baseball teams in P.S. 118, but already too many students have signed up, and thats just the beginning of the problems, including a dilema for Helga -Finished (i've fixed the errors)
1. Default Chapter

Yeah, so this is my first fan fic. Read, review, all that stuff, I DO NOT appreciate pure flamming, constructive criticism is fine. I don't own Arnold, no one owns him for he is iternal...  
  
Part 1:  
  
Once again, I felt a disgusting piece of chewed up paper hit the back of my neck. I am somewhat getting to the point where I'm just going to snap at her one day. I really don't want to, but I don't even know if I can control myself. It's not like I wouldn't have a justified reason to do it. It's been going on six years! I don't even remember when I first met her, she's just been following me, tormenting me like some gremlin for what seems like my whole.  
'Arnold: Cut it out Helga..  
'Helga: Why don't you try and make me Football-head  
'Arnold: Whatever  
No sense going bonkers today. Principal Wartz had FINALLY agreed to start a co-ed baseball club. The Principle from the High School had been bugging him about this almost all year, and Wartz finally gave in. There really wasn't anything to say, almost every kid in P.S. 118 plays baseball. All kids that wanted to join were to meet at the High School Baseball Field after school to get into teams and stuff.  
'Gerald: Man Arnold, this is gonna be a great season, isn't it? First time we get to show 'off our baseball skills to the public.  
I nodded and smiled. Spring was just starting and it was a beautiful day. No flowers yet, but the buds were definitely growing. The pigeons were coming back too, we saw two picking at the ground for food. The field was just ahead of us, and we immediately heard what sounded like an audience for an opera coming from the field.  
The place was PACKED with kids, from all the upper and lower grades. Wolfgang and his cronies were the first to meet us.  
'Wolfgang: Well if it isn't weird shaped head kid. Boy are we gonna womp your sorry 'butts all the way back to kindergarten.  
'Voice: I don't think that will be happening.  
'Wolfgang: Principal Wartz! I, uh, we were just egging these kids on, you know get them 'in the spirit.  
'Wartz: Well I actually won't have to be worrying about your grade wars on this field. 'Fourth graders will be competing with other fourth graders ONLY. Now run along, get 'to the grade booths, the fifth grade is over that way, the fourth over that way. There's 'way too many kids here. I knew this was a bad idea, oh excuse me son, hey watch where 'your going!"  
'Wolfgang: You better not be anywhere near this field when it's our time to practice 'shrimps!  
He and his cronies stormed away.  
'Wolfgang. Do you think we're going to have to deal with them any time this season?  
'Gerald: I certainly hope not, come on, let's go.  
Mr. Simmons was standing in front of the fourth graders booth, trying not to fall down as dozens of kids were signing up. We walked up casually through the ruckus and signed our names. Everyone from our class was there, and some people from other classes too.  
Mr. Simmons jumped up the booth and started his speech,   
'Simmons: Ok everyone, it's four thirty, I hope you've all signed up. I'm going to 'randomly assign your teams so everything's fair.  
The whole group groaned.   
'Simmons: Ok, on team 4a, are Gerald, Rhonda, Arnold, Stinky, Lorenzo, Phoebe, and Lila.  
'Helga: Wait a second Simmons. How the heck are we supposed to play with only seven 'players?  
'Simmons: Ummm, well, the PTA decided that they would exclude some of the more,  
'unnecessary positions so no one would feel left out. Anyway, team 4a, head over to third 'base to wait for your coach"  
All of us strolled out to the base, except Rhonda.   
'Rhonda: Why am I not paired with Nadine? I simply must be paired with Nadine Mr. 'Simmons!!!  
'Simmons: Well Rhonda, I supposed I could change the list real quick...  
'Wartz: Absolutely Not!!! We spent three hours picking out those teams Simmons...!  
Huh?? That didn't make any sense.   
'Arnold: Pardon me Principal Wartz sir, but Mr. Simmons said it was a random choice, 'and didn't we all just sign up?   
Both Simmons and Wartz looked at each other strangely.  
'Simmons: Well you see Arnold, I can't answer that question, it's between the 'PTA and us.  
Obviously a million questions popped up, but the adults refused to speak of it any further.  
After much whining, Rhonda was convinced to go, and we all sat down around 3rd base.  
  
'Rhonda: What on earth could the PTA have possibly have been doing with the teams.  
'Me: Its very strange. How'd they know who was going to be signing up?  
'Unknown: I'll answer that!!!  
We all turned around to look at the speaker.  
'Gerald: Oh god...  
'Rhonda: Not again...  
Coach Wittenburg was hustling up to us, clipboard, whistle, large figure, and all. Behind him was a young woman. She had a very pretty face, with long blonde hair, and blue eyes. Most of the boys immediately got wide-eyed, I, of coursed, cared much more about Lila,   
I don't fall in love that easy you know.  
'Wittenberg: You see, I knew all of you would be signing up, so I thought I might as well 'get back together with my old team, you know. Oh, and this is Miss Ferely.  
'Ferely: Frelia coach.  
'Wittenberg: Oh yes Frelia, Miss Amanda Frelia, right? Good. She's from the High School 'Girl's Baseball team..  
'Frelia: Softball team.  
'Wittenberg: Oh yeah, right.  
'Frelia: But don't worry. We're playing baseball. I hope this is a fun experience for all of 'you, I'm sure you'll all want to join the Baseball or Softball teams in a couple of years.  
'Wittenberg: Yesss... Now, Miss Ferelian  
'Frelia: Frelia.  
'Wittenberg: Yesss... Could you please hand out the practice schedules. Our first meeting  
'will be here at 5 o'clock tomorrow. That's all, dismissed!  
Everyone was leaving, but coach wanted me to stay afterwards and talk to him, in private.  
'Wittenberg: Before I even start coaching, I'm gonna ask for your help Arnold.  
'Arnold: What do you think I can do?  
Coach gave me a strange look.  
'Arnold: All right, all right, I'll make sure you don't make everyone mad and quit the team, 'as usual.  
'Wittenberg: Oh thank you Arnold, you know what, I'll make you pitcher...  
'Arnold: Why don't you wait to see how I play?  
'Wittenberg: Oh, yes, well of course...  
I knew this was gonna be a long season. 


	2. part 2

part 2  
  
Meanwhile, back at the fourth grade sign up board, Mr. Simmons was calling out the names for team 4c.  
'Mr. Simmons: Ok, um, Helga, Harold, Sheena, Eugene, Curly, Nadine, and Sid.  
'Helga(mumbling): Great, I get the entire geek fellowship on my team.  
'Mr. Simmons: Now everyone head to right field and wait for your coach.  
Helga winced at her team and thought.   
Helga(thinking): Well, Sid and Harold are ok, I guess. I've never seen Sheena or Nadine on the field, Curly is there sometimes, but he's usually just flailing around, and of course I had to get ancient voodoo-curse Eugene"  
At the base was some blonde-headed young guy. He had a sack of balls, a few bats, mits, and everything else.  
'Guy: Hey kids, I'm assistant coach Larry Edinmeister from the High School, but you can 'just call me Mr. Ed!!  
'Helga: So not funny.  
'Mr. Ed: Anyway, we are lucky enough to have practice right now, but you're practice 'schedules will show you that most of our practices are around 7:00, that's when the head 'coach gets off work.  
'Sid: What's his name.  
'Mr. Ed: Errr... um, I forgot his name, but the PTA hired him because of his hard work 'ethic. So anyway, let's warm up and start the practice.  
Warm up went by rather smoothly, except that nobody wanted to stretch with Harold. Mr. Ed volunteered, but Harold cried like a baby the whole time.   
'Mr. Ed: Alright Harold, its obvious you don't have much in the way of flexibility.  
'Harold: But I really love baseball, we practice everyday!! Ask anyone!!  
'Helga: Well, I usually make Pink Boy pitcher when we play for fun. He isn't that bad actually...  
'Mr. Ed: All right then, Harold your pitcher for this practice. Ummm, (he whispers to 'Helga) where should I put everyone else?  
'Helga: Put Sid there on second, he's pretty good. Um, Eugene, well, just put him in 'outfield and don't ask any questions. The rest, I have no clue.  
'Mr. Ed: All right, let me think, Nadine, you're on third base, Curly, you're catcher, and Sheena get on first. Helga's up to bat.  
'Sheena: Um, Mr. Edinmeister sir?  
'Mr. Ed: Yesss?  
'Sheena: I don't think it would be a good idea to put in such a important position as First 'Base, I haven't really be practicing as much as everyone else.  
'Mr. Ed: All right... I guess you could go on outfield, who wants to give up their position 'for Eugene.  
At first there was silence, then..  
'Curly: I shall play First Base!!  
'Helga: But you suck at anything but catching.  
'Curly: But I will learn... Yes, I can see it now, First Baseman of the year, such a glorious 'title. All will revel before me, and I will gain the respect of my one true lo...  
'Helga: I think Rhonda wouldn't give a crap about any guy without money, especially you.  
  
'Curly: STILL, I will play first base!!!  
'Mr. Ed: Eugene's catcher then.  
'Helga: I HIGHLY recommend you reconsider, more than one person could get hurt.  
'Mr Ed: Come on, what could possibly go wrong with a catcher, especially with all his equipment.  
'Helga: You'll see..  
Everyone took their positions, Mr. Ed walked up close to Helga.  
'Mr. Ed: I wanna see how well you bat.  
'Helga: Well, prepare to be amazed.  
'Harold: All right Hellllllga... Prepare to hit air.  
'Helga: Shutup and pitch.  
Harold threw the ball quiet well, but it was a bit off, Helga didn't swing, Eugene ran to catch the ball, caught it, then ran headlong into the fence. As he fell down, he accidentally threw the ball in the air, which landed right on Mr. Ed's head.  
'Eugene: I'm ok..  
'Mr. Ed: But I'm not, geeze, you kids are weird.  
'Helga: Tell me about it.  
'Mr. Ed: All right, Eugene, if you can still walk, um, Sid, your catcher.  
'Sid: No way dude, I'm staying right here.  
'Mr. Ed: Errrr.... FINE, I'll BE CATCHER, EUGENE, SIT DOWN TILL MY HEAD 'CLEARS!!  
'Eugene: Yes sir.. You don't need to yell.  
'Mr. Ed: Just sit down, please.  
It was once again Helga's turn to bat. After Harold's usual taunts, he threw the ball, and Helga hit it. It went almost right next to third base, and hit the ground. Nadine was nowhere to be seen.  
'Mr. Ed: WHERE'S MY THIRD BASEMAN?!?  
Mr. Ed took a look around and saw Nadine far off from the field. She seemed to playing with the grass. Mr. Ed stormed over there and stared at her.  
'Mr. Ed: What are you doing!!  
'Nadine: I saw a beautiful butterfly of a species of never seen before. I followed it out here than saw this amazingly strange form of beetle. Look!!  
She held out some sort of horned beetle with two big pinchers for a mouth. It jumped out of Nadine's hand and clamped its jaws Mr. Ed's finger.  
'Mr. Ed: OWWW!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!  
'Harold: Wooaahh...  
'Sid: Dude...  
'Helga: Heh heh...  
'Nadine: I, I'm sorry Mr. Ed, sir..  
'Mr. Ed: Oh... I'm sorry Nadine, its just, ahh, I dunno ... Just get back on ba... Hey! 'Where's everyone going!!  
'Helga: Practice is over coach, cya tomorrow.  
'Mr. Ed: ahhh.....  
Helga walked home quite agitated about the whole practice   
'Helga: Criminey!, How the heck are we supposed to win with such dorky coach and only 'three good players! It would especially be great to beat ol' Football Head at his favorite 'game. Ha! I can just see his face, so dissapointed, so ticked off, so incredibly handsome, 'so sweet..  
She pulled out her locket.  
'Helga: Arnold, your face is so radiant, alas, how I must totally PULVERIZE you in your 'first game, ha ha ha...  
She opened the door to her house and immediately heard Big Bob yelling at a tipsy Miriam, AGAIN.  
'Bob: I don't care whether we had plans for dinner tomorrow night, there's something very important I have to do.  
'Miriam: But Bob, you promised.  
'Bob: I know, but that was before this came up, I have an obligation now!  
Helga ran up to her room, knowing that their fighting would probably last for another two hours. She scribbled in her notebook for about two minutes, when, amazingly, the yelling stopped. She heard them both walking up the stairs, so she put her ear to the door and listened...  
'Miriam: Oh Bob... That's so sweet of you...  
'Bob: Yeah well, don't think I'm making a habit out of it, just this year and its over.  
They both went into their bedroom and closed the door.  
'Helga: Gee that's strange. Ah well, you never know what to expect out of those two.  
The phone range in her room, she picked it up, and of course in was Phoebe.  
'Helga: Hey Pheebs, so how's your coach?  
'Phoebe: Well, he is a bit rowdy, but our Assistant Coach is very sweet...  
'Helga: Ours was such a moron. I mean, only our Assistant Coach was there, but we don't 'know who our real coach is.  
'Phoebe: Um Helga. I hope this "team competition" theory doesn't get in the way of our 'friendship. I mean, I don't even play baseball that often...  
'Helga: Sure, just know that I have my heart set on beating Football Head, so don't feel 'bad if you lose.  
Phoebe started giggling.  
'Helga: What?  
'Phoebe: Oh nothing. Have a nice night Helga.  
'Helga: You too Pheebs. 


	3. part 3

part 3  
  
It was 5:30 and time for team 4a's practice. Coach Wittenberg refused to start the practice before Arnold got there, so Miss Frelia lead some warm ups.  
'Lorenzo: Umm, Miss Frelia, I was just wondering, you know, when we are having games 'and things, I need to fit them into my schedule.  
'Miss Frelia: Well, our first game is versus team 4b at 6:00 on Thursday.  
'Stinky: Who's in team 4b?  
'Miss Frelia: Um, Park, Roger, Iggy, Gloria... what kind of name is Peapod Kid?  
'Gerald: Hey, Arnold's here!  
'Wittenberg: Thank god.. I mean oh good, now we can start practicing. Ok, umm..., uh, 'baseball coaching, what should I do first...  
'Frelia: Why don't you assign some practice positions.  
'Wittenberg: Ah, yes! Well, Arnold is going to be batting first, and um.. I guess the tall kid   
'can be pitcher.  
'Stinky: Gee thanks Mr. Coach sir.  
'Wittenberg: Ok, hmm, who's the red headed girl, I haven't seen her around before.  
Lila curtseyed politely.  
'Lila: My name is Lila, and I am ever so thankful for you to be our coach.  
'Wittenberg: Aww, isn't that sweet. Well... you can pick your position little girl.  
'Lila: Well, I'd prefer to put in outfield, cause I'm somewhat new to this sport...  
'Wittenberg: Well that's fine with me.  
'Lorenzo: Umm.. sir, since it's tough enough for me to fit these practices into my schedule, I was wondering if I could be given an easy position as well...  
'Wittenberg: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S TOUGH ENOUGH TO FIT ME INTO 'YOUR SCHEDULE!!! THIS IS BASEBALL BOY, IT SHOULD BE YOUR TOP 'PRIORITY, IF IT ISN'T THEN GE...  
'Wittenberg felt a slight tug on his shirt.  
'Wittenberg: Uh, oh Arnold, what is it?  
'Arnold: I think you're overreacting don't you?  
'Wittenberg: Yeah, well, all right, get the catcher's mitt, and don't talk about your, 'schedule, again, you hear me.  
'Lorenzo: Ye, ye, yes sir.  
'Wittenberg: Ok, you, the girl who's afraid of breaking her nails...  
'Rhonda: Yeah?  
'Wittenberg: Don't use that tone with me already, go to third!  
'Rhonda: Whatever...  
'Wittenberg: grrr...., Ok, kid with the tall hair, get on second, you with the glasses, get on 'first. Pitcher, throw the ball.  
'Arnold: Wait a second coach.  
'Wittenberg: What now?  
'Arnold: Well, I don't think I should be batting, you see I have this problem see, 'Dangerous Lumber.  
'Wittenberg: Dangerous Lumber? You actually believe in that superstition?  
'Arnold: I wouldn't, except it always happens.  
'Wittenberg: Well, I don't care, I don't believe in that crap, so let's go!!  
Stinky threw the ball, and Arnold hit it high into the air, out of the field.  
'Wittenberg: See, nothing happened at all...  
Suddenly, a passing hawk grabbed the ball out of the air, fly with it a few seconds and dropped it right above Coach Wittenberg.  
'Frelia: Watch out!!  
'Wittenberg: What... *THUD*  
'Frelia: Oh dear.  
Wittenberg was lying on the ground with his eyes closed. Everyone formed a circle around him.  
'Frelia: Ok how many fingers am I holding up?  
'Wittenberg: Duh, uh seven...  
'Rhonda: Its not like he would know anyway...  
'Phoebe: Judging by his answer, I would assume he will not be capable of coaching for at least thirty minutes.  
'Stinky: But we only have twenty-five minutes left of practice...  
'Frelia: Bug, ok everyone get back into their positions...  
  
Later that day, at the same spot, Mr. Ed and the rest of team 4c were waiting impatiently for their new coach to arrive.  
'Mr. Ed: Please, please let him show up...  
Suddenly, a car pulled, and out stepped no other that Big Bob himself!  
'Helga: Dad!! Oh no...  
'Bob: Hey kids, I'm Mr. Pataki, and the PTA has made me coach for this year. Now, I'm 'only coaching one year, but I wanna at least get something out of it, so no slacking, I 'want you all to be working very hard.  
'Helga: (thinking) Criminey, he hasn't even noticed me!!! I had no idea he was that 'horrible...  
'Bob: Oh yeah, and Olga, don't think I'm giving you any special treatment or anything, 'you better be working as hard as everyone else...  
'Helga: Yeah, whatever (how I hate him!)  
'Bob: Hey, who the heck are you kid?  
'Mr. Ed: Um, I'm your assistant coach sir, from the High School...  
'Bob: Yeah, yeah, just don't get in my way. All right everyone, I wanna see everyone of 'you run twice around the soccer field.  
'Sid: Where's that?  
Bob pointed over across the street to a large field, they couldn't see the end of it from where they were standing. When they got over the hill, they saw the field had a length of at least a half-mile, and a width of a football field. Everyone groaned...  
'Sheena: I don't think I could run around it twice, I think I'd faint first.  
'Mr. Ed: Me too...  
'Bob: Aaaa... I don't care, just run around in circles till I say stop.  
So everyone was running around in circles, but Harold, of course couldn't stand more than a minute of running  
'Harold: Ugghh... I can't move anymore, I don't wanna do this.  
'Bob: Quite tubby. How can you expect to play any sort of sport if you can't even run?  
'Mr. Ed: Umm, sir.  
'Bob: Yeeessss?  
'Mr. Ed: Um, well, I think you should listen to Helga when it comes to baseball, she was 'the only one yesterday that actually hit the ball.  
'Bob: Helga? Oh, the girl, well I dunno.  
'Helga: Tubby's pitcher, Sid's second, and I wanna see how the rest of you maggots play?  
'Bob: Hey, I like your attitude.  
'Helga: Whatever, NOW YOU'RE ALL GOING TO LISTEN TO EVERYTHING I SAY OR I'LL POUND YOU.....  
  
A practice later....  
'Sid: My bones hurt.  
'Eugene: I don't think my heart should ever beat that fast.  
'Helga: TOMORROW, WE'RE GONNA MEET AT GERALD'S FIELD, 7:30 am, 'SHARP. Beside from the "official" practice's, we're going to get in a little "recreational"  
'practicing as well!  
'Sid: But tomorrow's Saturday....  
'Helga: Don't bother Sid.  
'Sid: Ok.  
Now everyone had cleared out and Big Bob was driving Helga home.  
'Bob: Hey Helga...  
'Helga(thinking): Woaaahhh....  
'Bob: Ya know, I liked the way you handle that team, that's what we Pataki's do, we take 'control.  
'Helga: Well thanks dad...  
  
Another Helga Phoebe Phone Call  
'Helga: My dad has actually been getting my name right for three days, can you believe that?  
'Phoebe: Well Helga, I think you two have finally met on common ground, a desire to 'win...  
'Helga: Yeah, and its something worthwhile, not like that stupid spelling bee. I think your 'team's gonna have quiet the competition...  
'Phoebe: Well don't sell us short. Wittenberg might not have much in the way of coaching 'skills, but our Assistant Coach seems to know the sport very well. Already, Eugene has 'been able to go through four plays without getting injured!  
'Helga: Woah... That's amazing... Hey, um, how's Arnold playing?  
'Phoebe: Well, he has been "coaching" Coach Wittenberg, mostly on how to be a fair 'coach, and he obviously doesn't want go up to bat because of his fear of hurting anyone, 'but his pitching skills are approving by the minute...  
'Helga: Wait, Arnold's pitcher?  
'Phoebe: Yes! And what a pitcher he is...  
'Helga: Really? Well, I gotta go now, I have to lead Miriam to bed before she passes out.  
'Phoebe: Ok, good night Helga. 


	4. part 4

part 4  
  
It was Wednesday, Helga and Phoebe were walking home. It was getting cloudy, Helga doubted there would be practice tonight.  
'Phoebe: Oh dear, I hope it doesn't rain during our game.  
'Helga: You have a game today?  
'Phoebe: Yes, it's at 5, are you going to come?  
'Helga: Naa... I don't want to get stuck in the rain...  
A few minutes before the game, Helga had already walked to the field with an umbrella, camouflage, and binoculars. She didn't want anyone to see her, since she was there for the specific purpose of watching Arnold. She climbed the fire escape to the roof of the building and hid behind a radiator. The teams were gathering on the ground below...  
'Wittenberg: all right team, this is it, our first game. Now, in spite of some early problems, 'some of you have been able to show some signs of improvement, except for you Lorenzo, 'you're position is outfield.  
'Lorenzo: Well, I'm not sure if I'm even ready to play...  
'Wittenberg: Just try to catch the ball when it comes to you. Remember the song Miss 'Frelia taught you?  
Near the batting cages, Arnold had decided to talk to the other team's pitcher...  
'Park: Gee Arnold, I never thought we'd be ever playing against each other.  
'Arnold: Yeah, it sucks...  
  
'Arnold: Yeah... We're friends no matter the outcome.  
'Park: Yup, cya later Arnold.  
  
It was in the seventh inning and the score was 11-10, Arnold's team. There were two outs and the bases were loaded. Arnold was pitching...  
'Helga: Come on football-head, I know you can do it!  
Arnold was covered in mud and had many scrapes and bruises. It had been raining for half the game, and he had run home three times. He spat out his gum and looked at the batter, it was Iggy. He wasn't so bad, there were two balls and two strikes. Arnold looked to Stinky and threw the ball. Iggy decided not to swing, but it hit Stinky's glove dead center.  
'Wittenberg: Uh, uh... I can't believe it. This has, never happened to me before. My team won a game only on their first try! Yaaayyyy!!! I have to go home, now, tell Tish, and the boy! Yes, YESSSS!!!!  
Coach Wittenberg had already left before the teams lined up for handshakes.  
'Park: Great job Arnold.  
'Arnold: Thanks Park.  
'Park: So... You wanna play a game at Gerald's field on Saturday?  
'Arnold: Yeah that would be great.  
'Peapod Kid: Rhonda, I cannot believe that you stayed in the game after in started raining?  
'Rhonda: Why's that such a big deal?  
'Peapod Kid: Have you looked at your clothes?  
'Rhonda: OH MY GOD, HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS!!  
  
Helga danced with glee on the rooftop...  
'Helga: Oh my Arnold, you're such a wonderful pitcher. Arnold, my little sports hero...  
She suddenly heard some voices coming from the other side of the roof, she snuck over and listened...  
'Voice: This is gonna be so funny. I can't wait to see the look on that little football head's 'face...  
'Voice2: Why do you hate him so much?  
'Voice: He's so goody, always caring about people...  
'Voice2: So why would that make you hate him?  
'Voice: Cause I hate people like that! Come on we have to go back to practice, I don't ' 'want another game like that...  
'Voice2: Yeah, Ludwig really showed you huh...  
'Voice: Shut up Edmund!!  
'Helga: Oh no...  
  
Everyone at the boarding was congratulating Arnold on his success.  
'Mr. Potts: That's the way to stick it to em Arnold.  
'Mr. Kokashka: Yess, Arnold. By the way, are you in need of a manager? I'll only charge 'three meals a day to start.  
'Mr. Potts: Hey, I thought we both agreed to equally take part in Arnold's management.  
'Mr. Kokashka: Yess.. Well, Arnold trust me, I'm the better manager, come on, only three 'meals a day, ok?  
'Grandpa: Everyone, GET OUT!!! Arnold, some girl's on the phone for you, Fifi or 'something... Don't worry, I'll hold them off, just get to the phone!  
As Grandpa was draining his strength trying to hold the dining room door closed, Arnold picked up the receiver.  
'Arnold: Hello.  
'Phoebe: Hi Arnold, its Phoebe.  
'Arnold: Hey Phoebe.  
'Phoebe: I have some dreadful news for you, although I am afraid I cannot reveal my 'sources. You see, I think our next practice may be in for a little attack.  
'Arnold: What do you mean attack?  
'Phoebe: Wolfgang and his tribe of thugs have decided to hide on the rooftop of the High 'School and pelt water balloons filled with ink down on us.  
'Arnold: Oh no... Aren't they worried that Coach Wittenberg will get them in trouble?  
'Phoebe: They're planning on wearing disguises...  
'Arnold: Whelp, I've already come up with a plan.  
'Phoebe: How did you do that in such a limited amount of time?  
'Arnold: I've been doing it all my life, it's easy for me now, ok, here's what we do...  
  
Wolfgang looked down upon the currently unanimated H.S. 118 baseball field. He, Edmund, and several others all wore completely black hoodies and sweat pants. Each wore a bandanna to cover the lower parts of their faces that the hoods wouldn't hide.  
'Wolfgang: Shh... I think I hear them coming.  
Coach Wittenberg got out of his van, four kids jumping out with him. It was Rhonda, Eugene, Lorenzo, and Sheena. They went on the field and started warm ups.  
'Edmund: Should we pelt em now Wolfgang?  
'Wolfgang: I wanna wait till Football-head gets here, where is he anyway?  
'Voice: Hello Wolfgang.  
The whole gang spun around to see Arnold standing alone.  
'Wolfgang: I, uh, what the hell are you doing here football head?  
'Arnold: Giving you a chance to surrender and come quietly.  
The gang roared with laughter!!  
'Wolfgang: What could you possibly do.  
At that moment, Wolfgang felt a sharp sting in his side.  
'Edmund: Aaack!! Its burning my skin, through my clothes!!  
'Wolfgang: What the hell is this stuff!!  
Stinky and Gerald were firing at them from two windows with water guns.  
'Wolfgang: Don't get it in your eyes, aahhh!!  
'Edmund: I'm outta here Wolfgang... Hey, where'd our balloons go?  
In response, the balloons were falling on their heads, coming from Miss Frelia who was standing on a radiator.  
'Frelia: Take that Edmund!  
'Edmund: Sis? Uh oh, I think I'm in trouble...  
'Wolfgang: Let's get outta here!!!  
Unfortunately, the only way out was to climb slowly down their ladder, while still being under a hail of the burning liquid and ink filled water balloons. Some how, they got down, and disappeared.  
'Arnold: Geeze, it was only lemon juice.  
  
Dear Olga,  
  
Things are brighter than usual here. Me and dad have been getting along fine since I signed up for baseball and he decided to coach. He might deny it, but he's definitely given me special treatment, but it's helping the team out a lot. We already won two games, due to our ingenious coaching skills. I've never felt so close to him before, he's been treating me like, well, his daughter. Anyway, hope you're having fun in the freezing cold weather, I wish you'd choose a warmer place to teach.  
  
Love, Helga 


	5. part 5

part 5  
  
Another day, another practice, and another dreamless sleep. I have no clue what I'm going to do. I guess I'll start by saying that the last game of the season is only a day away. Big Bob is psyched and Arnold is psyched. As for me, even meditating for four straight hours in my shrine hasn't given me the answer to this dilemma. A few days ago, I had my first meaningful conversation ever with my father...  
  
'Big Bob: Hey Helga, come here.  
'Helga: What is it Bob?  
'Big Bob: Don't call me that anymore, call me dad.  
'Helga: Why? You've only figured out my name a few weeks ago.  
'Big Bob: That's what I wanted to talk about... You see, I finally realized that I've 'basically missed out on being your dad for a few years...  
'Helga: My whole life is more like it.  
'Big Bob: What are you talking about?  
'Helga: Come on Bob, I had to walk myself to preschool, you ever even thought that that 'might have been wrong?  
'Big Bob: Its just that I, well, I can't seem to ever get my mind off of work to pay enough 'attention to you.  
'Helga: You always paid attention to Olga.  
'Big Bob: You know where I used to work when Olga was born? The mailroom, that's 'where I worked. I had plenty of time to pay attention to her. But I didn't have enough 'money for two daughters, so when someone offered me a promotion, I took it. Then I 'took another one, and another one...  
'Helga: Just shut up, you always paid more attention to Olga, even now you do it!  
'Big Bob: Well, I, um... I dunno... I just want to make sure you play good on Saturday, I 'know you can do it, you're a Pataki.   
He ran upstairs before he could finish, and I stood dumbfounded for some time. Of course, the next day at school, I had to talk to Phoebe about it.  
'Phoebe: Well, he didn't finish I think, cause he didn't want to admit he was wrong about 'how he treated you in comparison to Olga.  
'Helga: I knew it, he's still a jerk, and he'll always be a jerk.  
'Phoebe: Just a second Helga, I'm surprised he kept taking promotions...  
'Helga: He did, he kept taking more and more, after I was born. He even kept working 'too much when Olga left!  
'Phoebe: Have you ever thought that maybe he kept taking those promotions cause he 'wanted more money for his family?  
'Helga: Geeze, I never thought of it that way... Still, he should've known that spending   
'time with me was more important than money!  
'Phoebe: You're definitely right Helga. But, I don't think he was smart enough to realize 'it, he thinks that the more money he makes, the happier he and his family are gonna be. 'He has a bad case of the American Dream you could say...  
I was thinking about that all day, till my daily run in with Arnold.  
'Arnold: What's wrong Helga...  
'Helga: As usual, Football head, there is nothing wrong with me.  
'Arnold: Are you sure, does it have something to do with the game...  
'Helga: What are you talking about, I know that I could win.  
'Arnold: What do you mean, could win?  
'Helga: Well, I'm not sure I want Big Bob to have yet another victory...  
'Arnold: It's your victory Helga...  
'Helga: I KNOW!! But that's not the only problem... but I just can't tell you Arnold, 'could you just leave me alone...  
'Arnold: It's a good idea to let things out...  
'Helga: Not this time Arnold.  
I knew he'd never leave me on his own, so I left him sitting there, so he could try to come up with a solution to the wrong problem. Phoebe tells me he's got his heart set on the next game, but why should I care? Other than the fact that I love him, he and Phoebe are the only two that have ever really cared about me, not Big Bob or Miriam. I want Arnold to win, but I also want to win, and then there's my dad... I don't know what I should call him. Does he really care about me?  
'Big Bob: Tomorrow's the big day eh? We're gonna win this one for sure... I'll make 'trophy case just for you.  
'Helga: Wow, thanks Bo.. Dad.  
'Big Bob: Yeah, now get to bed, I want you to get plenty of sleep.  
I thought then that I should definitely try to win. I mean, that's what all those shrinks would say, "You should just try your best and accept any outcome" Yeah, well, I don't think that way, head doctor talk isn't an exact scientist, I decided to go on my own kind of soul searching.  
'Helga: Hello Arnoldo.  
'Arnold: Helga, you're calling me?  
'Helga: Yeah, you know, I think you've figured out by now that I can do very out of 'character things at times, well this is one of them. I just wanna know what you think 'about, well, I dunno, religion and stuff.  
'Arnold: Whaaa....? Shouldn't you be talking to a spiritual leader or something...  
'Helga: I don't have one. I'm asking you this cause I thought, "Why is this kid such and 'incredibly good guy"? So I decided to ask you up front, and yes, this does have to do 'with the thing I can't tell you about.  
'Arnold: I really don't know much about god or anything like that, I'll tell you. There are 'too many rules for people that believe in god. I think there's something out there though 'and I have no clue what it is...  
'Helga: Yeah, so why are you so nice if you don't believe in anything?  
'Arnold: People can be so mean to each other sometimes, and I just don't get it. We're all 'alive, aren't we? All our lives could be so pleasant if we just worked together... so that's 'what I try to do. This world seems pretty bleak at the moment, but I haven't given up yet. 'There's still hope and the best thing a person can do now is just live not only their own 'lives, but also the lives of the people around us, even if they are mean. We're all not too different from each other... Helga are you still there?  
I was sprawled on the floor, taking in his words like they were a speech from Jesus. This boy will never cease to amaze me, and I don't think I could ever fall out of love with him.   
I thought for a while that he was a little naive about the bad stuff that happens, but now I see he is the most optimistic person in the whole world.  
'Helga: Yes, yes, go on?  
'Arnold: Well, I guess in conclusion, I'm not ready to give up on the good I know exists 'in all people, they just need guidance, someone to help them along. I'm probably too 'young to be trying to do that, but it has worked out pretty great so far. That's all I can 'think of for now... do you wanna tell me what's wrong?  
'Helga: I lo... I mean, that's great and all Football head, welp, cya tomorrow and all...  
'Arnold: Yeah... Have a good night Helga.  
How could I sleep after that? I was at a peak of my love for him, I got off the phone so quickly cause I was afraid of confessing. Unfortunately, reality did finally set in...  
'Helga: But then, isn't he just caring for me like he does everyone else?  
So still, I was clueless as how to play tomorrow, there's the ogre, the angel, and then the little confused girl that I really am underneath all the rage. 


	6. part 6

Part 6 - The End  
  
'Arnold: I will never understand that girl...  
'Gerald: I think she's just crazy.  
It was almost too cold to play. Rather strange weather for the middle of May.  
'Frelia: Arnold, have you seen coach Wittenberg?  
'Arnold: Um... no.  
'Frelia: Oh dear... His wife told me she hasn't seen him since he went out last night...  
'Arnold: Really?  
'Frelia: Yeah I'm so worried...  
  
Watching the fourth graders gather for the final game was a disgruntled group of fifth grade thugs.  
'Ludwig: Now why did you drag me all the way out here?  
'Wolfgang: Cause, I've had it with Football head, he has challenged my authority for far 'too long...  
  
'Helga: all right, listen up geeks! You've all been working hard on the basis of "do it or 'I'll 'pound you", but, this being our last game, I'll lighten my grip... You've all done a 'wonderful job, now, it's time to win again, or I'll pound you, understood?  
'Big Bob: Heh, heh, we might not have to, the other coach has left, it'll be forfeited 'without him.  
  
Wittenberg awoke and didn't open his eyes. He was frightened about where he might be, and of the pounding headache that would come when he tried to stand up.  
'Hello sir, I have to ask how you could possibly skip out on us like that.  
'Wittenberg: Go away Arnold... I'll be there, just go back and I'll catch up...  
'Arnold: Why?  
'Wittenberg: You don't wanna see how I look, or how I'll act...  
'Arnold: I already smelled it coach, I don't care, I just want you to come and coach us...  
'I don't even wanna ask why you're out here, this kinda stuff goes beyond me. But I'll 'think you'll get over it if you walk, I'll help you if you need it.  
'Wittenberg: Thanks Arnold...  
Arnold lead him through dark streets. Wittenberg couldn't tell where they where going or if they would make it in time. He tried to focus on the streetlights, he didn't even wanna think about Tish or Tucker.  
'Arnold: We're here.  
'Frelia: Coach, I think we should have a looooong talk during this game, don't you?  
'Wittenberg: Yeah...  
'Frelia: Good, Arnold, thank you. I am very shocked that you were mature enough to lead 'him here without getting angry or anything, but next time, you should just get an adult...  
'Arnold: I know, but I felt sorry for him...  
Miss Frelia gave Arnold a kiss on the cheek and told him to not worry about it. He melted.  
'Wittenberg: BIG BOB PATAKI!!!  
'Bob: Well if it isn't broken Coach Jack Wittenberg, have that $5000, or am I gonna have to 'knock down that petty house of yours.  
'Wittenberg: You're one cold-hearted bastard, aren't you?  
'Bob: Hey, I'm still offering you that apartment...  
'Wittenberg: That house has been in my family for decades, I grew up there!!  
'Bob: Well, you should've thought about that before you signed my mortgage agreement.  
'Wittenberg: You tricked me into signing that!! I didn't mean I wanted it knocked down!!!  
'Bob: Heh, heh, I've got an idea, how bout we make this game interesting?  
'Wittenberg: What're you up to...  
'Bob: Well, if you're team wins, you get the house...  
'Wittenberg: And if you win?  
'Bob: You have to give me that trophy set of yours so I can fill in some places on my 'girl's trophy set.  
'Wittenberg: NO!!!  
'Frelia: Take the bet you idiot...  
'Wittenberg: Yeah, that would make more sense, wouldn't it... all right, deal.  
'Bob: Deal, heh heh  
  
Helga was listening to this whole conversation and it hit her deep it the heart... But it was time to play...  
'Arnold: Where's Gerald?  
'Phoebe: I don't know, I haven't seen him...  
'Arnold: Does that mean we forfeit?  
'Frelia: Luckily, no. Two kids have to be missing for the PTA to declare this a forfeit.  
'Arnold: Well then, let's get going!  
  
It was the fourth inning. The score was tied, it had been tied for almost the whole game. Whenever Arnold's team got in the lead, Helga's team would quickly catch up. It was during Arnold's break that Arnold heard a voice behind him...  
'Gerald: Hey Arnold.  
'Arnold: Why are you so late?!?  
'Gerald: I got some baaaad news man. Fuzzy slippers told me he had contacted Weasel 'and that he had some information for me. So we both had to wander through the city for 'a few hours till Slippers finally figured out how to get to the lair... I was wondering about 'why Weasel would help us, but Slippers told me not to ask, some big underground 'movements involving Big Gino... Anyway, Weasel told me that we're in for another 'attack from the fifth graders, no water balloons, just an all out merciless rampage, after 'the game...  
'Arnold: I'll deal with it...  
'Gerald: Woah, some statement. This is serious man!  
'Arnold: I understand how serious this is. I'm fed up with Wolfgang and Ludwig. You 'don't have to worry about anything, I'll handle this...  
'Gerald: I think I'll just be leaving now...  
'Arnold: You're staying, and playing, you have a right to exist Gerald, and I'll make sure 'its protected...  
  
It was bottom of the ninth inning, Arnold's team was ahead 12-11...  
'Bob: Look at those bases, they're full!!! I know I can win this, just gotta get one more 'hit....  
'Mr. Ed: We also have two outs. Sir, might I recommend Sid, his batting average is 'excellent...  
'Bob: No way, this is gonna be a Pataki victory.  
'Helga: That means me right Dad?  
'Bob: Yeah, get going.  
Helga looked Arnold right in the eye. Of course he thought it was a scowl, but Helga was close to crying... He threw the ball, she swung once, and just missed...  
Strike ONE!!!  
'Bob: Come on!!  
Next time, she miscalculated, and the ball hit the glove...  
Strike TWO!!!  
'Bob: Olga, I know you can do it!  
'Helga: Olga eh...  
Arnold swung, Helga stepped aside, Arnold's team won!  
'Frelia: Wake up coach...  
'Wittenberg: Why, my life sucks...  
'Frelia: You just won the game.  
'Wittenberg: Big de... What did you say?  
'Frelia: You won, you get to keep your house.  
  
Arnold and Helga were shaking hands as Arnold was handed the huge first place trophy and Helga got the second place one...  
'Bob: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING HELGA!!! You purposely threw the 'game!!  
'Helga: So now you get my name right...  
'Bob: Whaaa... IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!  
'Arnold: I think you should shut up Mr. Pataki.  
'Bob: Why I oughta...  
'Mr. Ed: Sir, come on, the PTA wants to ask you to coach next year...  
'Bob: NEVER!!! I'm done with this sport, and I'm getting rid of your trophy case...  
'Helga: I don't care, I'll put it in my room...  
'Bob: Just... whatever...  
Big Bob stormed out the field and got in his car, and drove off....  
'Helga: He's such a sore loser...  
'Arnold: Come on Helga, my grandpa will take you home, let's walk to the parking lot...  
They went around the side of the High School, heading for the parking lot, they were all alone.  
'Helga: Arnold...  
'Arnold: Yes Helga?  
'Helga: Um...  
Suddenly, they were surrounded by six huge ugly fifth graders...  
'Wolfgang: Well, well, well, if it isn't Football head and his little girlfriend... Nice 'performance...  
'Edmund: Yeah, it was a great performance, did you see the way he pitched...  
'Wolfgang: Shut up Edmund...  
'Ludwig: Less talking now and more pain giving...  
'Arnold: Before you do, can I say something?  
'Wolfgang: Yess...  
'Arnold: You're real losers, Wolfgang, Ludwig. You've picked on us forth graders for far 'too long, you've even hit the girls, and nobody hits girls...  
'Ludwig: HA!! Is that all you have to say, a little good guy justice speech?  
'Arnold: No, I also have this to say.  
Wolfgang's face was the first fly that Arnold swung his fists of fury at. It was high time that Arnold brought out the Zen training his grandma had taught him. With his focus, determination, and use of the fly, he pummeled Wolfgang and Ludwig simultaneously.  
'Edmund: Uh oh, let's get outta here guys!  
The other fifth graders ran away, but Edmund was halted when a hand grabbed his ear..  
'Frelia: Where do you think you're going Edmund?  
'Edmund: I was just, uhh... It was all Wolfgang's idea!!!  
'Frelia: Really? Beating up a boy and girl, both younger than you? That doesn't sound 'tough to me, it just sounds stupid and cruel.  
She let Edmund go, and lifted up Wolfgang and Ludwig.  
'Frelia: Edmund, get out of here, I'm gonna tell your mother later. As for you two, I'm 'taking you to Principal Wartz. Hey Arnold!  
'Arnold: Hey Miss Frelia.  
Miss Frelia dragged Edmund and Wolfgang away.  
'Arnold: What did you wanna say Helga?  
'Helga: Nothing Arnold, let's just get outta here...  
  
Helga was on the other side of the car, waiting for Grandpa to get there... Arnold was chatting with Lila, and Helga was listening...  
'Lila: That was such a wonderful game, you're such a good pitcher Arnold.  
'Arnold: Yeah, it was nice, some bullies just tried to beat me up though.  
'Lila: What? Oh dear, are you hurt?  
'Arnold: No... I was sick of those bullies, plus they wanted to hurt Helga...  
'Lila: You were with Helga again?  
'Arnold: Yeah, she's been nice lately, I wish she'd just be that way all the time. We could 'even be friends...  
'Lila: Well, I must be going Arnold...  
'Arnold: Cya Lila.  
  
Grandpa rolled up to Helga's house.  
'Grandpa: What're you waiting for short man? Take you're lady to the door.  
'Arnold: GRANDPA!!  
'Grandpa: I'm just kidding! Now get out there.  
Arnold stood looking at Helga after she knocked on the door.  
'Arnold: Are you gonna be all right? I mean, your Dad's in there...  
'Helga: Yeah, I'll be fine.  
'Arnold: So I'll see you tomorrow I guess...  
'Helga: all right.  
Arnold stood there for a few more seconds before returning to the car. Helga quickly ran up the stairs to write in her diary, call Phoebe, and put down all her thoughts into a poem... 


End file.
